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I just got back from a Raft Regatta on a River. It's a charity event… - The Roze Garden
June 20th, 2004
07:57 pm


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I just got back from a Raft Regatta on a River. It's a charity event where teams build their own raft, and then paddle 10 miles. It's a fun, non-professionals only event and it's quite a sight because the teams decorate their rafts.
My sister took part in this event and asked us to come and watch. So we did.
Around 100 rafts took part in total, and over the course of the 5-ish hours it took, I must have seen about 20 stupidly irresponsible parents who let their crotch-droppings run riot at the edge of the Riverbank (bearing in mind that the bank is a sharp 20ft drop).
However, the award for The Stupidest Parent of the Year goes to the most annoying mother in the world. Firstly, she had come prepared with a box full of eggs with the sole purpose of throwing them at the passing rafts... y'know, the rafts with people on who are busting a gut to raise money for charity?
The moronic woman later yelled out to her 9 year old daughter (approx.) "Quick Chelsea, take the camera and run down the bank. You'll get us a better photo of Daddy".
It had been raining all day, the grassy bank was muddy, and crotch-rot slid all the way down and into the river.
Luckily it was very shallow at that point, but child fell right in. Instead of being worried about her daughter, Mother was stressing over the digital camera that had fallen in the water.
Child was ok, thanks to the efforts of one of the raft teams that collected her straight away.
Then Mother bitched about having to walk 2 miles down the river to the finish line to collect her daughter!

I am horrified. There should definitely be some kind of in-depthy examination taken, and licence issued before stupid people attempt to conceive.
In fact, solve the population problems: neuter the stupid people.

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